Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
