Is it normal to miss your booty call?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
