Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
