Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
These tits shall not be calmed
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
