tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Come see our sink grown plant.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
did i walk over a car last night?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
