Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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