Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
soo... how was my night?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
