Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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