That's when you crack a 10am beer
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize