I smell stomach acid.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
