Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
