it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
