You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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