it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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