Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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