You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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