ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
