I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
