And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
