He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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