Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
