i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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