so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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