Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
