If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
