so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
