Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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