it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
