I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The police scanner is talking about you again....
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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