it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
