"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
