people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
