HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
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