that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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