He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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