So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
