What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
