You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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