So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
