I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
