I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
