Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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