wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
