I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize