is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
