Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
