There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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