It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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