once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You are a genius and a whore.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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