i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
