just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
