He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
