nut hugger
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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