New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
