We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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