What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
