nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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