You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
