so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
