just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
