to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
