I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
