the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
